Happy people pursue goals

"And remember, life is about the big picture and the small; life goals, five-year goals, yearly goals, monthly, weekly, and daily goals.  I love to not only think about the big picture in my life and work, for the small goals as well....

"And that day will be added to other days that will give me a week's success, a month's success, and so on....

"Make your goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely, commonly known as SMART goals.  Dream big, but make that big dream something real that is able to be attained, measured, and can fit into the real world of time and deadlines.  Real, attainable, and structural goals will engage you and help you feel successful along the way.

"God made you like him, a person who is creative, has talents, brains, and abilities, and can see into a future that does not yet exist.  Goals will help you bring all those together.  Create your dreams, large and small, and engage your talents and abilities to create the tomorrow that you envision.  It will definitely add to your happiness." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness

We need things to look forward to.  Goals, long and short term give us a reason to get moving. 

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Necessary goals

"When we set goals and put legs to our desires and teach them, it definitely does do the heart good.  A listless life that never strives to reach goals can feel lost.  The research says that not only the attainment of our goals but also the pursuit brings joy along the way.  As happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomitsky says, 'People who strive for something personally significant, whether it's learning a new craft, changing careers, or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don't have strong dreams or aspirations.  Find a happy person and you will find a project.'  Further, 'it turns out that the process of working toward a goal, participating in a valued and challenging activity, is as important to well-being as its attainment....

"Not that an entire life can look like the spring of that one week.  Life is a marathon.  But what we know about goals tells us that both the sprints of short-term goals and the marathon of a life spent pursuing longer-term goals and purposes contribute to satisfaction and well-being.  They give us something to give ourselves to and invest our passions and strengths in.  They help contribute to the 'flow,' which is a happiness factor in and of itself.  They structure our lives and give them direction.  They help order our time and energy.  And a host of other benefits that contribute to a sense of well-being." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness

Looking forward to meeting goals, short-term and long-term, is hope giving and life giving.  We need something to look forward to.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Find time

"'We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.' (Heb 6:12)

"I love this verse.  It gives one more example of the created order, the way God set up the universe.  He makes promises about life, and then he expects us to do our part and not be lazy.  He promised the children of Israel a 'promised land,' but they had to go and possess it.  They had to fight a lot of battles to get there.  And, little by little, they did.  'Imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.'  God has promised you abundant life, but he has not promised you an abundant life with no effort.  Work on your happiness, take responsibility for it, get moving.  Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is working within you.  He is doing his part; now you have to do yours.  Don't be lazy!

"Since I write books, people often come up to me and say, 'I would love to write a book.  I have been wanting to write for a long time.  I already know what I want to write about.'...'I have a job too,' I tell them. 'I have to write in my spare time.  It has only been recently that I have been able to set aside time specifically for writing.  But my first twenty books or so, I had to do it when I could find a moment.

"Most often they just look at me.  They I tell them, 'You will find time to do what you want to do.

"I love the story of John Grisham.  He was an attorney and a state legislator but always wanted to be an author.  Obviously he was busy, full-time and more.  But with a dream of writing a novel, he got up a little earlier each day and wrote one page.  Within a few years, he had A Time to Kill: A Novel. He has sold more than 100 million books since then, but it all started by not being too lazy to write just one page a day.  Get moving toward the activities that are going to make you fulfilled and happy.  One page or one call at a time." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness

It is true that we find time to do what we want to do.  Sometimes it is just filling our lives with escapism, i.e. addictions, rather than truly going towards the life that we want.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Get moving

"My experience has been that when people get a wake-up call about their level of happiness in life, their first realization is that they are responsible for their own happiness, and their second realization is that they will need to pursue certain activities.  I have seen many people who, having been stuck for years, finally "get it," wake up, and say, "I do not have to live like this.  I am going to do something about my life."  Then they get busy, and a year later.  I hardly recognize them.

"But for that to happen, you have to find the "push."  You have to overcome the entropy and lack of movement that has dominated you for so long.  You have to "do something."  So how you do that?

"Other than those who might be clinically depressed or suffering from a real illness of some sort, there are two broad types of people reading this book.  The first is the type who, upon reading what I have written so far, gets up and moving.  She says, "This makes sense.  What have I been doing?"  So she'll call a support group, join Weight Watchers, sign up for that community college class, take up rock climbing, call a therapist, or do whatever she has been avoiding that takes a little effort.  If that is you, God bless you.  You are on your way.

"The second type is the one who reads this and finds that it resonates, wants to pursue change, but will probably not do anything.  Is there hope for him?  Absolutely, but not on his own.  If this is you, you need two things: energy and structure.  You have shown how, when left to your own devices, you are not going to self-motivate and do not have the needed discipline.  So you have to find energy and structure from the outside.

"I suggest that you get a buddy, an accountability partner, a group, a therapist, a class, a trainer, a coach, or whatever it is going to take to get you moving and continuing to move.  At this point in your life, if you do not have outside structure and someone motivating you, you will slip back into passivity.  But think about this this way: if to get active enough to get someone to push you or to join a class is being as active as you can be, that is great.  That can help you from there.  That is all you have to do, but you have to do it.  Otherwise, you are in danger of continuing to do nothing and being lazy about your happiness." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness

Henry Cloud puts this need for energy and courage in a nice way.  Many times we need encouragement to do the healthy, right thing for our lives.  Getting help takes courage and is not a weakness.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Pursuing Happiness

"Contrast... attitude and behavior with that of happy people.  Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord!"  instead of "Good Lord, morning," usually do not find themselves in that place by happenstance. They find themselves there by exercising God-given energy, investing their time, moment by moment and day after day, in the activities of building a life that is fulfilling and meaningful.  In effect, they are living out the created order itself.  God designed us to be, in his image, persons who use their hearts, minds, souls, and strength to create and invest themselves in producing life.  They build relationships and use their talents and abilities to achieve things, and God wants to do the same.  He wants us to be active toward life, not passive. 

"Happy people are active, not passive, in their pursuit of life. If you look at some to of the activities that research has proven produces happiness, you'll see that it takes effort and investment.  For example, happy people invest their time:

* Building deep relationships and community:  they belong to support groups, participate in Bible studies, or have structured times of getting together with friends and family and nurturing those relationships.

* Being involved in growth activities: they see a coach or a counselor or attend some kind of growth group.

* Pursuing goals: they have physical, financial, vocational, avocational, or other goals they're working toward.

* Serving others: they have found meaningful ways to spiritual activities, such as prayer, meditation, Bible study, retreats, and so forth.

* Exercising and staying healthy: they have some sort of routine that they follow to stay active and pursue a healthy lifestyle.

* Practicing gratitude: they regularly express gratitude to God and others.

* Pursuing activities they love: they find their passions and pursue them.

* Stretching themselves: they look for activities and goals that push them to be all they can be.

* Resolving pain and conflicts: whether in relationships or in their own souls, happy people do not avoid problems but do what is necessary to heal them." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness

Our attitude and behaviors can and do effect our happiness.  We must be proactive in our happiness pursuing. 

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Intentionally

"The extraordinary doesn't just happen.

"Picasso didn't accidentally paint impressionistic masterpieces.  U2 doesn't accidentally write and perform music that moves millions of fans. The president of a country doesn't accidentally get elected to that position.  Works of artistry, significance, and greatness are the product of intention.  Being intentional about how you live and the kind of difference you want to make is the first step toward becoming extraordinary. 

"Live with intent.  Let the difference you make be your signature difference." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0

I love the this.  When we concentrate and take action on good goals our life is more enjoyable.  Life gets hopeful rather than hopeless when we move towards the things we want. 

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Committed People

"1. Committed people are generally happy.  I have never met an unhappy Fred.  I've met some who felt under-appreciated, taken for granted, or frustrated, but it strikes me that overall, people who embrace these ideas and do business the Fred the Postman are a happy group of people. 

"...Not everything we must do each day--at home or at work--makes us happy.  In those cases we need to remember that how we choose to do anything has a significant influence on the emotions we experience.   Doing an unpleasant task cheerfully trumps doing a pleasant  task begrudgingly.

"2. Committed people are clear about what they do and why they do it.  A. W. Tozer said, 'It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it.'  In other motives matter.

"What you do to make a difference is important, but so is the reason you do it.  You can do the right things for the wrong reasons (which is usually preferable to doing the wrong things for the right reasons).

"It's true that providing great value as an individual or an organization often results in great benefits to the provider.  But even if it doesn't, the reward is in the doing.  Author Tim Ferriss calls this the power of process over outcome.  If you set out to do something for benefit or a payoff that doesn't happen, you feel like you've wasted your time, and you're disappointed if you don't get it.

"However, if you set out to do something because you'll enjoy doing it regardless of the outcome, then any kind of tangible reward is icing on the cake.  The process itself is the reward. 

"3. Committed people have goals.  A commitment without a goal is like a trip without a nap: odds are you won't get to where you want to be. 

"A distinction of commitment is the desire to make a mark in life--not just any mark, but an extraordinary, positive mark.  Knowing the kind of difference you hope in make greatly increases the likelihood of success.

"...Set a goal to add value, enrich a relationship, or make a difference in your work, your home, or your community in the next two weeks.  Write it down--no excuses.  I have learned that if you aren't willing to take the time to write something down, odds are you won't be willing to make the time to do it.

"Here's a two-way test: if you are truly committed, you'll bring enthusiasm and positive expectancy to what you do beyond what is expected.  The second part of the text is that when it comes time to act, you will follow though, regardless of your feelings.  If you don't, you make not be as committed as you thought you were.

"The goals you achieve prove and bolster the commitment you've made. Be definitive in what you're going to commit to in order to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.

"When you take the step from merely involved to being truly committed, everyone benefits--your company, your family, and especially you.   As Vince Lombardi said, "The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0

When we set goals, written goals, then there can be motivation to take a step to go in that direction.  Just hoping something will happen will not normally get up there.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928