Pursuing Happiness

"Contrast... attitude and behavior with that of happy people.  Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord!"  instead of "Good Lord, morning," usually do not find themselves in that place by happenstance. They find themselves there by exercising God-given energy, investing their time, moment by moment and day after day, in the activities of building a life that is fulfilling and meaningful.  In effect, they are living out the created order itself.  God designed us to be, in his image, persons who use their hearts, minds, souls, and strength to create and invest themselves in producing life.  They build relationships and use their talents and abilities to achieve things, and God wants to do the same.  He wants us to be active toward life, not passive. 

"Happy people are active, not passive, in their pursuit of life. If you look at some to of the activities that research has proven produces happiness, you'll see that it takes effort and investment.  For example, happy people invest their time:

* Building deep relationships and community:  they belong to support groups, participate in Bible studies, or have structured times of getting together with friends and family and nurturing those relationships.

* Being involved in growth activities: they see a coach or a counselor or attend some kind of growth group.

* Pursuing goals: they have physical, financial, vocational, avocational, or other goals they're working toward.

* Serving others: they have found meaningful ways to spiritual activities, such as prayer, meditation, Bible study, retreats, and so forth.

* Exercising and staying healthy: they have some sort of routine that they follow to stay active and pursue a healthy lifestyle.

* Practicing gratitude: they regularly express gratitude to God and others.

* Pursuing activities they love: they find their passions and pursue them.

* Stretching themselves: they look for activities and goals that push them to be all they can be.

* Resolving pain and conflicts: whether in relationships or in their own souls, happy people do not avoid problems but do what is necessary to heal them." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness

Our attitude and behaviors can and do effect our happiness.  We must be proactive in our happiness pursuing. 

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Giving people what they don't deserve

"Grace is about giving people what they don't deserve--extending unmerited favor.  If we all got exactly what we deserved and only what we deserved, most of us would not be where we are today.

"Think of all the times that someone--a parent, a friend, coworker, or even a Good Samaritan--extending a kindness to you that you didn't earn.

"If you approach others with the attitude that you will only give them as much they give to you, your relationship never will have a chance to grow beyond that point.  But when someone makes a gesture based on grace--a gift or good deed that is unearned or undeserved---the relationship is deepened and enriched for both parties.

"A gift given in grace will delight the one who receives it, as well as the one who gives it.  Grace is one of the deepest forms of communication in any relationship.  It says you care about someone for who that person is, not just what he or she does for you." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0

In a relationship both parties give grace at one time or another.  Sometimes in a relationship we need to extend grace when none is ever given by the other person.  We sometimes need to be that one that extends kindness they didn't deserve.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Children and Giving

"We've heard of parents who give their children money on Sunday morning to put in the offering plate.  While donating money is a commendable thing, when children give what isn't theirs, the joy of giving is usually missed.  We've always encouraged our kids to give their own possessions, time, or money to those in need.
"... Sometimes the best solution has been to use our organizational skills to help raise money, rather than simply giving it.  Working with our kids, we've taught them to organize, promote, and host fund-raising garage sales for our Boy Scout troop and drama group.  We've also hosted several silent auctions, with the kids helping collect donations, label item, and administrate the auction.  They'll never forget the time and effort they put forth.  But more importantly, they'll always remember the fun and success they had as hundreds of people came to the events and hundreds or thousands of dollars were raised.
"Volunteering as a family is a fun and important way to give to others.  Everyone, no matter how young, can play a small part." - Steve & Annette Economides in the MoneySmart family system

It is important to teach and talk about children to give they don't follow after their pattern of self focus.  An ability to see others in need and help as they can will make them healthier people in touch with the world around them.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928