Power of Vulnerability

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown


Renee Madison is a counselor in Colorado with offices in Westminster (Denver area) and Fort Collins (Northern Colorado).  She can be reached by phone 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

Speak negatively or positvely to self?

"Here is the key: you've got to send your words out in the direction you want your life to go.  You cannot talk defeat and expect to have victory.  You can't talk lack and expect to have abundance.  You will produce what you say.  If you want to know what you will be like five years from now, just listen to what you are saying about yourself.  With our words can we either bless our futures or we can curse our futures.  That's why we should never say, 'I'm not a good parent.  I'm unattractive.  I'm clumsy.  I can't do anything right.  I'll probably get laid off.'

"No, those thoughts may come to your mind, but don't make the mistake of verbalizing them.  The moment you speak them out, you allow them to take root.  There have been plenty of times where I've thought something negative and I'm just about to say it, but I'll catch myself and think.  No.  I'll zip it up.  I'm not speaking defeat into my future.  I'm not speaking failure over my life.  I will turn it around and speak favor into my future.  I will declare, 'I'm blessed.  I'm strong.  I'm healthy.  This will be a great yer.' When you do that, you are blessing your future." - Joel Osteen by I declare, 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life

Speaking negative increases the outlook of a negative day and future.  We have to train ourselves to look and speak positive.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a licensed counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Movement is vital for children

Children love movement.  Regular movement activities not only help children stay healthy, also it enhances their learning abilities and sets a solid foundation upon which more complex movement skills are established.

Adult used to deal with obesity but it is now prevalent in the school age and preschool populations and is increasing at alarming rates.  Regular movement helps children decrease the chances of becoming obese and thereby avoid disease like  heart disease and Type II Diabetes.  Movement and exercise also helps them teaches them a lifestyle to stay healthy well into adulthood.

Movement is necessary to learning.  Children use movement to learn about and explore their environments and the properties of objects.  They stimulate most areas of the brain, especially the center responsible for maintaining focus and paying attention when they move.  It is in movement that their brains release neurotransmitters that enhance short-term memory.

In addition to health and learning, movement is necessary for learning new motor skills.  Through repetition a child's nervous system is changed every time they do movement activities.  Movement stimulates the nerves in the nervous system such a way that nervous impulses pass along the nerves with increasing speeds and efficiency.  The repetition allows the movements to be more automatic and the movements are further perfected with each repetition.

Movement is important to the health, education and development of children.  So, help your children to affect their future in a big way and get them moving!

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a licensed counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

Fiancial stress may hit your brain and wallet

A thoughtful article on financial stress in the Reporter-Herald:

"Being short on cash may make you a bit slower in the brain, a new study suggests.

"People worrying about having enough money to pay their bills tend to lose temporarily the equivalent of 13 IQ points, scientists found that when they gave intelligence tests to shoppers at a New Jersey mall and farmers in India.

"The idea is that financial stress monopolizes thinking, making other calculations slower and more difficult, sort of like the effects of going without sleep for a night.

"And this money-and-brain crunch applies, albeit to a smaller degree to about 100 million Americans who face financial squeezes, say the team of economists and psychologists who wrote the study published in Friday's issue of the journal Science.

"Our paper isn't about poverty.  It's about people struggling to make ends meet," said Sendhil Mullainathan, a Harvard economist and study co-author.  'When we think about people who are financially stressed, we think they are short on money, but the truth is they are also short on cognitive capacity.'

"If you are always thinking about overdue bills, a mortgage or rent, or college loans, it takes away from your focus on other things.  So being late on loans could end up costing you both interest points and IQ points, Mullainathan said.

"The study used tests that studies various aspects of thinking including a traditional IQ test, getting the 13 IQ point drop, said study co-author Jiaying Zhao, a professor of psychology and sustainability at the University of British Columbia.

"The scientists looked at the effects of finances on the brain in the lab and in the field.  In controlled lab-like conditions, they had about 400 shoppers at Quaker Bridge Mall in central New Jersey consider certain financial scenarios and tested their brain power.  Then they looked at real life in the fields of India, where farmers get paid only once a year.  Before the harvest, they take out loans and pawn goods.  After they sell their harvest, they are flush with cash.

Mullainthan and colleagues tested the same 464 farmers before the harvest, and their IQ scores improved by 25 percent when their wallets fattened.

"'It's a very powerful effect,' said study co-author Eldar Shafir, a Princeton University psychology professor.  'When you are dealing with budgetary finances, it does intrude on your thinking.  It's at the top of your mind.'
"in the New Jersey part of the study, the scientists tested about 400 shoppers, presenting them with scenarios that involved a large and small car repair bill.  Those with family income of about $20,000 scored about the same as those with $70,000 incomes on IQ tests when the car bill was small.  But with the poorer people had to think about facing a whopping repair bill, their IQ scores were 40 percent lower.

"Education differences can't be a major factor because the poor scored worse only when they were faced with big bills, Safir said.  The more educated rich may have learned to divide their attention, but that wouldn't be a significant factor, he said.

"The study's authors and others say the results contradict long-standing conservative economic social and political theory that say it is Individuals -- not circumstances -- that are the primary problem with poverty.  In the case of India, it was the same people before and after, so it can't be the person's fault.

"'For a long time, we've been blaming the poor for their own failings,' Zhao said.  'We're arguing something very different.'

"Poverty researcher Kathryn Edin of Harvard, who wasn't part of the study said the research 'is a big deal that solves a critical puzzle in poverty research.'

"She said poor people often have the same mainstream values about marriage and two-parent families as everyone else, but they don't seem to act that way.  This shows that it's not their values but the situation that impairs their decision-making, she said."  - Seth Borenstein


Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

Mountain top happiness

“Psychological research has shown something else about “getting” or “achieving” some external, circumstantial state as the path to happiness.  It does not last.  It has a short shelf life.  So, not only do our circumstances and achievements account for only a small percentage of our happiness, but even what they are able to contribute evaporates pretty quickly.  Why?

“It seems that there is some sort of “set point” to our level of happiness that we carry around, almost like a thermostat.  Let’s ay your set point from factors other than circumstances is at 70.  Then you get that new house, and you jump to 80 or, for a day, to what feels like 100!  This happens, for instance, when people first fall in love with the persons of their dreams.  They may even exceed 100 in that initial state.  (That explains a lot of crazy behavior.)  But whether it in the house, the raise, or the relationship, what research has shown us is that we come back down to the place we were before.  We return to our set point.  This is called the “hedonic treadmill.”  This is why, as common sense will tell you, you can look back at things you thought you would “just die for,” and now they are stored in the garage and you don’t care much for them anymore.  Their power has gone away.  Compare children on Christmas morning to those same children a few months later when the toys they were so excited to find under the tree lie around no longer used.” – Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness

It is sad that we can’t stay on the mountain-top of happiness, but we all have to go to valleys to understand the mountain-top experiences.  Real life has its ups and down that we experience.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Debt can hurt your health

I love this article I found in my Sunday Reporter-Herald:

"As of August 2013, the average American's credit card debt totaled $15,263; mortgage debt averaged $147,591; and student loan debt hit $31,646.   And many households have all three!  No wonder you report that you're more stressed than you were 10 years ago.  Twenty percent of you now say you live with extreme stress daily, and we think the real number is even higher than that.

"It's not news that financial woes fuel tension, sleepless nights, relationship problems and depression.  But a new report reveals that debt is also linked with higher diastolic blood pressure --- that's the second number in a blood pressure reading that tells you the pressure level BETWEEN beats.  We say you should aim for 115/75.

"High diastolic pressure signals high-blood pressure problems. And that can double your risk for heart attack and weaker recovery post-heart-attack; triple the odds for digestive problems and ulcers; and lead to a 10 times greater chance for headaches and migraines.

"But you don't have to inflict physical damage on your body because you are under financial pressure -- and that's great news since stress-related health problems can cost a lot in lost work time, doctor and hospital expenses (even with health insurance) and family happiness.  And a great bonus:  When you have less stress, you think more clearly, and solutions to many of life's challenges, including financial ones, become more controllable.

"Step 1: Stay social.  Counteract stress by investing in your social network, and we don't mean digitally.  Study after study shows that people with strong relationships deal better with stress and reduce their risk of heart disease, cancer, accidents and all causes of death.  So make an effort to stay in touch with friends and family, organize get-togethers, plan day trips.  And reach out to help others through volunteering -- acts of generosity and altruism are good for the hear and the spirit (not to mention the brain!).

"Step 2: Make your health a priority.  Financial stress doubles the chances that you'll skimp on prescription drugs, medical tests and doctor visits.  Ask your doctor about lower-cost ways to get the care you need.  You'll find free tips at www.sharecare.com and www.doctoroz.com to keep your health and weight on track!

"Step 3: Face facts.  Avoiding tough situations or difficult decisions doesn't make the stress they evoke go away -- it amplifies it in the long run!  So, identify at least one debt you'd like to stop stressing about, grab the most recent bill and do a little math.  Determine what you can do to chip away at it more effectively.  And then tell one friend or family member what you're doing.  In one study, half of the people who tried this approach were able to stay on track.

"Step 4: Eat out less often.  It's great for your budget, your waistline and your health!  And clearly, if you stay healthy you'll have less stress, because you won't be worrying about illnesses and you'll feel more in control of your future (a feeling that chronic debt can steal from you.)

"Step 5: Don't use shopping as stress relief.  Lots of you may hit the mall or outlets when you're feeling down.  But that's a recipe for overspending!  Dancing with your honey and friends in your living room to your favorite oldies is free.  Reading aloud with your spouse or kids is fun and relaxing, and how about a family board-game night?

"Step 6: Adopt stress-busting habits.  Financial stress increases your risk for obesity by 20 percent and ups the odds for smoking and excess alcohol use.  Dodge those risks with exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, hobbies and making time for fun.  They all can reduce levels of stress hormones and dial back anxiety.  If your thoughts keep circling around to your bank balance or the latest un-opened bills, try writing down your worries.  Sometimes they don't look so large when you get them down on paper, where you can evaluate them and make an action plan." - Mehmet Oz, M.D. and Mike Roizen, M.D.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT

She is a counselor in Westminster and Fort Collins, Colorado
She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Children are the most vulnerable among us

"Approximately 25% of all children in the United States will experience at least one significant traumatic event before the age of 16, with 15% of girls and 6% of boys developing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.  Unintentional injury remains the leading cause of death among those aged 14 and younger, while nearly 38,000 injuries occur on a daily basis that require medical attention--nearly half-million emergency room visits annually for traumatic brain injuries.  More than 10,000 children are diagnosed with cancer every year, and the most common tumors are brain-related. Each year, somewhere between three to four million reports of childhood abuse and neglect are filed with state and local Child Protective Services (60% of all cases are under the age of 13).  Over 800,000 minors are reported missing each year (2,200 times every single day).  Minors account for 39% of the homeless population in the United State (almost half of those are under the age of five) and there are an estimated 1.3 million homeless and runaway street kids throughout the country.  (Sources: Center for Disease Control and Prevention, National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, FBI National Crime Information Center, National Coalition for the Homeless)

"The above statistics are staggering and can leave most people feeling overwhelmed.  Many of these trauma-orientated life experiences can create significant emotional, cognitive, behavioral and relational obstacles that children and their families must face and overcome.  However, some problems also arise, not so much as a result of certain incidents being perpetrated upon unsuspecting children, but simply due to complications during pregnancy or because of genetic and birth defects.  Nevertheless, with 46 million children under the age of 11 (15% of the total U.S. census), this demographic cannot be summarily dismissed or ignored....

"Therapeutic work with children often requires additional training and expertise due to a number of developmental factors that may be present and the need to have sufficient awareness regarding attachment theory, neuro-biological considerations, and early life experiences, as well as the various nuances within most family relationships.  When it comes to assessment, diagnostic conclusions and treatment interventions, an adept practitioner must be well-versed in systemic processes, behavioral approaches such as play therapy, and have the ability to connect and communicate with children at their level.  While it is not necessary for every therapist to be able to complete a full psychological evaluation, the ability to understand the findings and incorporate specific recommendations is for effective counseling to take place.  Albert Einstein once commented, "Play is the highest form of research." - Christian Counseling Today, vol. 20, no. 2

Children are the most vulnerable among us. Children are our most precious responsibility.  When they have emotional hurts, it is important to take care of them just as helping a physical wound heal.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.